Motivation in a Bottle

Whenever I used to fantasize about winning the lottery or running into a bottomless pit of money....the first thing I'd do in my dreamworld was hire a personal trainer. Without fail, that was ALWAYS my first wish. I mean, that's why the celebrities can do it...right? They have help, they have someone educated telling them what to do, they have someone holding them accountable to going to the gym. They have someone watching over their reps, to make sure they didn't cheat. Help.....the magic key to success. 

And then something magical happened...I took off the delusional glasses and realized that hiring a trainer didn't require tons of money, and that if I cut back on a few unnecessary trips to Target and Amy's Flaming Burrito Barn, I'd have enough money for my very own trainer. Voila!  Between the Christmas and New Year's specials that my gym was running, I got a DEAL! And now....I have the thing of fairytales: Motivation in A Bottle.

And it truly is miraculous. Exercising is BEYOND EASY now, compared to the emotional teeth-pulling I had to do PPT (prior personal trainer). I looked at Lovely Vince the other day and asked him: "Do you REALLY know why it's so much easier to work-out with a you than by myself? Like, do you really get it...the magic of this process? Are you fully present to the miracle? The Christmas Miracle?".  He replied: ..."Well, I know it has something to do with motivation."

Oh, that was my opening.

"Let me break it down for you, Vince. YOU eliminate the choice to quit. It's that simple. When I bend down into that Butt Blaster machine and I'm whining and complaining about how much my glutes hurt with every rep, I know that I'm not going to stop at 12 reps or 13 reps or even 14 1/2 reps. I know I have to do 15 reps in every set because you're standing there, totally attentive and counting with me. That means of all the B.S. running around in my little brain, the one thing that cannot and IS NOT running around in my brain is the option to quit or cheat or do less.  That is magical. That is a Christmas Miracle".

Why is this so amazing....? Because quitting, cheating, doing less.....those are all the reasons I failed at losing weight and getting in shape for the last 15 years. That's the core of it. Before, I quit. Before, I didn't give it my all. Before, I cheated. Before, I gave up.  What happens when those things aren't even options anymore? Well...the problem is eliminated entirely.  As long as Vince is around, I will be successful.  Ah, the magic of a little help.

Now...if I could just hire someone to stand next to my refrigerator and portion out my food..... The cupboard police.  The Refrigerator Sheriff. Ah, he'd be so cute....a little elf that sat on the shelf at the grocery store, right next to the jar of Nutella...no, no...he needs to stand on my shopping cart and give me an electrical shock every time I drop something into that cart that is going to end up on my thighs. Sort of like the Tooth Fairy....only He'd be more like the Carb Fairy.....

Okay....Happy New Year... We're going into 2010 with optimism!