Interceding on my own behalf ~

Family Reunion July 2008 ~ 284 Pounds

Holiday Party 12/13/09 ~ 246.4 Pounds

Consider the postage stamp:

its usefulness consists in the ability to stick

to one thing till it gets there.

~Josh Billings

Results for Week Ten

Starting Weight Oct. 5th: 257.2

Last Week Nov. 30: 248.8

Week Nine 12/7/09

This morning: 246.4

-.8 pounds

Hi all. I find myself in a very familiar place mentally and emotionally. I have certainly been here before. At a certain stage of results, I begin to contemplate the following conversations - "Why am I doing this again?" "This is frigging hard?" "Couldn't I just take a pill or something?" "I have so FAR TO GO!! [boohoo]".

You get the idea. What I have never considered before is interceding on my own behalf. If a friend of mine was dealing with this, I would have the following conversation with them. Below is Myself coaching me ; )

Ok... Shoshanna. I know you feel like you have hardly moved yourself from start to

anywhere that matters. But that is just a conversation in your head. You feel and

look differently. Your clothes fit differently. Your flexibility and strength are increasing.

Just think about it -

Were you getting up 5-7 days a week exercising before? No...

Could you run 3.5 miles straight 10 weeks ago? No..

Did reaching goal weight seem possible before? No...

Well if you aren't sure look at some damn pictures. Get into reality. Acknowledge the big and

small victories. (See pics above). You can see your neck. You got cheek bones. Your

skin looks luminous.

Yes, you would like to be at goal right now. But you're not. Take a moment and focus

on the Why?! Instead of focusing on the What and The How. When you get too focused

on the end result and all of the work it will take, it doesn't empower you so don't focus on

that.

So... After that great conversation with myself (hehehe), what I am really reminded of are

all of my goals. Feeling good everyday. Walking into my doctor's office and being a "healthy"

BMI for the first time in my life. Running a half-marathon, full marathon, or a triathlon

(Spring length). Being able to shop anywhere I want. Being able to talk with my mom

about something else. Wearing a regular swim suit. Most of all - I can feel what it would

be like to knowing myself as a courageous person. Cause not only did I accomplish my goal,

but I had the opportunity to inspire others to live healthy.

Who knows?! Skinny Bitches could start a revolution of healthy people who both reached

their health goals and realized they weren't fixing something, but instead where transforming

something mind, Body, and Spirit one moment a time.

[sigh]

Thank you for reading. For this week,I am taking on mileage in my runs now. I am

going to focus on nutrition this week. My 5-a day (fruit and veggies), water, taking

my multi-vitamin, and sleeping 8 hours a night.

Blessings all!!

The last 8 and next 12

OMG

IT HAS BEEN 8 WEEKS

I didn't make my goal!

What the heck!?!?

What am I doing??

Gotta get my arse in gear!

Man this is so hard.

Will I ever get there??

---fill in the blank--??

I would like to introduce you to my inner defeater, Nadine. She is sassy and impatient. She has been my inner voice for many diets over the last 20 years. Depending on the day, she can sound just like a disapproving mother, a drill sergeant or a 3 year old right before melt down. You know that little voice. It either makes me wrong for failing or it validates how hard losing weight is and helps me justify quitting.

It might sound crazy to give a name to that little voice. Anyone ever seen Sybil ?? But for me, calling that voice Nadine is a helpful reminder that the voice isn't me. I have the ability to create anything in my life. So Instead of beating myself up or linking arms with Nadine and proving how hard it is, I am adding in another support structure to keep me playing and keep me honest. Plus I am going to acknowledge the success of the last 2 months.

I have lost 8.4 pounds. That is an average of 1 pound a week. Not a bad result. More than the weight loss, I feel good. I have been working out an average of 4 times a week. I am able to run up the stairs in our house without getting winded at all. I feel more flexible after my 2 times a week yoga habit. My resting pulse is now 19. Not bad. So going forward??

My new support structure? I started the Fitness Game today. I am WAY EXCITED!! The Fitness Game is a transformational health program that deals with not only what to do to lose weight, but it also deals with beliefs that have you either win or lose. Part of the program is playing a 12 week on the court game. Included for support is a team (one of my teammates is my fiancee), a coach, and a scoreboard. My goal is to average 2 pounds lost a week. Here we go!!

Have a great week and I look forward to reporting next Monday on the game!!

Week 8 - Gobble Gobble Gobble Gobble

First of all, Thanksgiving sucks when you are on a diet. It's the truth. Who wants to think about calories, fat, and fiber when you are talking mashed potatoes and stuffing. Hello gluttons paradise. Not only is there a TON of food but there is also full permission to eat until You are Stuffed! Forget 2nd helpings. Go for the 3rd or 4th helpings. Eat until you are so full that it is nap time. Then wake up and eat some more.

Check out this article about holiday weight gain. http://www.nichd.nih.gov/news/releases/holidayweightgain.cfm

ICK! I was not committed to having my typical Thanksgiving meal. I made a deal with myself that I could eat what I wanted as long as I ate only one plate worth (not including desert) and was active right after the meal. So I had one plate worth and the temptation proved too great. I went back for more cranberry salad and mashed potatoes. But I still went and played soccer with 3 kids and my fiancee for 30 minutes. It was a blast! Running after the kids and the ball.

All in all, I woke up this morning feeling really good about my choices. Went out to eat like 4 times with Thanksgiving tossed in there made for a challenging week for me food wise, but overall I felt good. Victory. See Results below.

Starting Weight Oct. 5th: 257.2

Last Week Nov. 23: 250

Week Eight 11/30/09

This morning: 248.8

-1.2 pounds

Have a good week!!

Transforming Failure - you mean I have to fail ARGH!

WAHHHHHHHH!!! I gained weight!!!

Starting Weight Oct. 5th: 257.2

Last Week Nov. 15: 246.6

Week Seven 11/23/09

This morning: 250

+3 pounds

Where to start? Well let's just say that after stepping on the scale I got totally ticked off at myself. I had brought the scale with me to the mountains so I could keep my promise (weigh myself on Monday and then blog about it). My fiancee's family was up in the mountains for a family gathering and Thanksgiving celebrations. It was a beautiful house btw. Unfortunately, the internet access in the house didn't work, and after I had gained weight, I wasn't in a big hurry to arrange something. Of course I can see that if I had spoken with Steven about the results and recommitted to the game, that would have helped.

Anyway. In looking back over the last week, I can see where there were failures. I can also see there were victories along the way. In my fashion, I will account for both. I appreciate having this method of accountability. I can't lie though. I would much rather have written about how I lost weight than how I gained. AND I do understand that I have a total say about how it goes. I definitely not a victim of chocolate chip cookies even though they begged for my participation and told me that without ice cream why bother.

Exercise -- VICTORY!!

I worked out for Seven days in a row. I went for a run on Saturday morning. I ran for 45 minutes. I was actually running hard enough to get a stitch in my side and be out of breath (Wahoo). I also did a work out at altitude (10,000 feet high) in Breckinridge. I brought my workout gear to the family gathering. I put on a one of my favorite Denise Austin tapes and got to work. I was seriously proud of myself for playing that part of the game this last week. I had my attention on it everyday. I was thinking about it and accounting for it daily.

Food -- Took my attention off of this

While working out so much, I got hungry. AND... I ate a lot (clearly). I tracked what I ate for two days and then stopped. For me out of sight is out of mind. If I don't write down what I eat, I am not tracking it. Gotta use the tools. While away on the family thanksgiving weekend, I ate lots of things I don't normally eat and ate them in unconscious portions.

What now... well I am still up for the same game. I sat down this morning and figured out roughly what I ate on Monday and Tuesday. All I got to say is WOW. When I stop tracking, I really stop tracking. I have written down what I have eaten today and am upping my water intake.

Starting on Monday of next week, I am starting the Fitness game. I have a scoreboard, a coach, and three other team members. Plus I am putting some $$ on it. More to come on that.

The game this week is really to keep my eye on both. Exercise and Food. I look forward to updating you on the Victories.

Have a great turkey day!!

The Joy of Movement

Joy  Of Movement


"The greatest trick and most subtle secret to doing anything really, really well, Shoshanna, is loving that you get to do it at all.

And I'm pleased to say, you get to - 

    The Universe"

*Notes from the Universe by 

Mike Dooley

My joy this week... was movement - Yoga, Dance, and weight lifting. I feel good!


Week 5 11/09/09
Starting Weight 10/05/09: 257.2
Last Week: 251.4
This Morning: 249.4
- 2.0 pounds


I have the temptation to just say "Good Job Sho". But I am willing each week to dig a bit deeper and say what worked and what didn't inside of success and failure. I am going to use this journey full up!


So why the success this week?


Food:
What Worked? 
I paid attention to making good choices while not denying myself. I bought some Marshmallow Lover's hot cocoa. It got rid of my sweet tooth in the afternoon for only 120 calories and 1.5 grams of fat. It was a good choice. Typically when I crave chocolate, I have some and the fat is really high. Hot cocoa gets rid of my craving and is only 2 points versus 4 or 5 points for not much chocolate.


What didn't worked? 
I had a lot of erasure this week. (For those of you who haven't heard me talk about the side effects of having the Lap Band, email or facebook me and I will explain). I wanted to pretend that I didn't have the band this week and eat things that I know will get stuck. I ate a breadstick (olive garden), a tortilla, part of a biscuit. There are things that I should avoid mostly bread, certain kinds meats, certain fruits, and drinking after eating (BAD IDEA). I notice the kid inside fighting with my commitment. It was comical and would have been more funny had I not felt so sick. The best plan is for me to eat the right kind of proteins with veggies. It works best with my tool. ; )




Exercise:
What didn't work?
The only thing that didn't work about exercise this week was # of times I actually made it downstairs to accomplish it. My game is 7 days a week (I created a big game to push myself). I accomplished 4 days. Not bad, but just 57% of the game. 


What worked?
So much this week worked about movement. I added back in Yoga. Yeah! love it love it love it. I am noticing my movement in general is becoming more free and strong. 


Unrelated Victory??
I sometimes get frustrated and annoyed with people. That is a new thing for me. No, I mean I got frustrated with people before but I didn't feel it. I was numb. I was full, numb, and heavy. In the last year since getting the lap band and starting this journey, I can actually feel. I watch my anger starting in my gut boiling like Old Faithful.  It makes its way up to my throat where it wants to burst out of me like a fireball from a dragon's mouth. ARGH!! You might consider being angry not a victory, but for me, it is a new feeling. A welcome feeling. It is correlated to being alive!


So... I ask you to consider have you ever used food instead of feeling. Have you ever watched someone else use food (or something else) to not feel? 


Please add comments and if you read this and are not adding comments, then I don't know you are reading it. Please let me know. 


Have a great week!!

Week Three -Results

Results 10/26/09
Starting Weight 10/05/09: 257.2
Last Week: 249.4
This Morning 251.8
+2.4 pounds

So I was sorting myself out this morning about what happened and what I normally do when I hit failure. First, I noticed that I wanted to lie about the results. Then I noticed that I wanted to go right back to see I can't do this. So I spoke with Steven (who was awesome) and then I decided that going public with the results would be helpful.

First I took an honest look at this past week. Both what I did food plan wise and exercise wise. I took a moment to look back over the last three weeks as well. What were the things that had me be successful in week one and two. What did I do differently.

Food Plan Wise:
Ok here is what I saw. I ate high point food and guessed on how much certain foods were points wise more than once. I didn't write down points for Sunday at all. I did some unconscious standing up in the kitchen eating on Sunday. I didn't drink my water everyday.

Exercise Wise:
This past week was a great week for exercise for me. I exercised in some way Monday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. 6 days. I felt myself really get into the habit and get excited. I noticed that waking up got easier every day. I did Yoga a couple of mornings, the long long bike ride on Monday, did Bollywood Booty, Arms, and the Rough Bodies 'Legs and Butt'.

What I am going to take on this week?


Food Plan:

I will go back to the basics and write down everything I am eating as I am eating it. I am going to get more mathematic about portion sizes. I have been using my eyes to measure the amount of food I am eating. Given how I gained what I lost in the 2nd week, I am pretty sure that I was visually guessing less than actual. I can start measuring food. Last drink my water everyday.

Exercise Wise: 
I will keep up the exercise I have been doing. 5-7 days a week is my goal and I will just repeat it this week. It was fun.

Ok... check back next week to see what happened.

For great results exercise Or Adventures in Bikeland

Well it is Monday night and I am completely bushed. My mom and I had a little adventure in bicycle land. We rode from her house in Aurora to Cherry Creek Reservoir. It was so beautiful. It was 80 degrees with a cool breeze. We saw so many trees that had turned red and gold. Plus it is a state park, bird sanctuary, and nature reserve. All the flora and fauna is native. Even though it is right in the middle of a city, it feels like I am out on the prairie.

The adventure part is coming. Read on please.

From my mom's house, it is only 6 1/2 miles there. Once we got to the park, we rode around the lake as far as you can go without going on the dam road ; ). Seriously that is what it is called. Going around the lake is another 3 miles. We then turned around to head back. We took the same way we went. So another 3 miles. If you have lost track of the math, by this time we had ridden 12 1/2 miles. Not a bad ride and then we would ride the remaining 6+ miles home. While climbing a brutally steep hill (well it was brutally steep to me anyway), my mom says 'Sho, I think your back tire is flat?!'

After chug-a-lugging up the hill, we stop. I notice that not only is my back tire completely flat, but my front tire is flat and filled with thorns as well. ARGH! Darn thorns. Well being the resourceful women we are, we found a very nice man (Frank Thornton) with an RV. He had a compressor and filled both tires. Being smart, my 130-pound mom rode my bike instead. We had a hope that the tires would last longer that way. NOT!! Did I mention that she is 5'4" and I rode her bike instead. I think my earlobes are still bruised.

Fast forward about ten minutes ---> FLAT. So we just decided that best thing to do was walk our bikes back to mom's house. Did I mention it is 7 miles to her house? So today I went on a 12 1/2 mile bike ride and 7 mile walk rolling half pulling a bicycle with two very flat tires. It was probably the most sweaty, hard, surprising, and fun thing I have done with my mom in a long while. I haven't ridden my bike where those stupid thorns are since I was a teenager. I forgot about those fu*&ers...

Results Week 2

Starting Weight: 257.2

Last Week Weight: 251.8

This mornings weight in: 249.4

Grand Total So Far

8.4 pounds of Excess body fat removed!!

The Journey Begins

Welcome to

Shoshanna's

Journey to Sexy Bridedom

Why blog this journey?

Well... Whether 150 strangers end up following us or it is just Eryn and I sharing our weekly experiences, I will be accountable to report results and experiences. At the very least, it will remind me what I am going for.

I am a Virgo and am an expert at making the simple complex. Weight loss is really simple math and physics... or so my doctor tells me.

Let's start with what's so:

October 5, 2009

Weight: 257.2 pds

Height: 5'7"

Pant Size: 22

Shirt Size: 22/24

Shoe Size: 8 1/2

BMI: 40.3 (calculator for BMI)

Where am I headed...

My Goal Weight

Weight: 155 pounds

BMI: 24.3

Don't know what size that is. We will just have to see.