OOOh! The wedding is just around the corner now! We finalized the location at this newly remodeled Tiki Bar on steroids...with a mini-bandshell and a new wood dance floor surrounded by an outdoor adobe fireplace and palm trees wound with white twinkly lights! I am so excited to glide onto that dance floor with Dave for our first dance as bride and groom. Peacock feathers pinned up in my hair, all a-bling with emeralds, and a little green petticoat peaking out from under the hem of my dress---Ahhhh! I love being daring and adding color to my virginal white ensemble. It's driving my mother nuts, but oh well....it's not like I'm a twenty-something blushing bride in the 1800s.
It looks like we might have hired a band for the dance, and they'll come early to play for the ceremony on the beach. Guitars and an upright bass on the beach!!!!! This will be epic, and far beyond what I dreamed we could do. Mucho gratitude to my mother for lending us a hand, financially. I totally didn't expect that...but she surprised us with a check last week that gave us a huge sigh of relief.
This whole process has been an exercise in letting go. Everything time I get too attached to my vision of how things out to be, it all sort of blows up in my face. If I think I'm not dropping weight fast enough...not down to my ideal size soon enough....well, then the stress and pressure make me eat more. If I get too attached to what music I want played or how the reception will go, something falls apart.
Such an exercise in faith to just let it unfold...and now it's better than I could have imagined.
Michelle (my neighbor) and I have decided to build a little business plan for this summer to put together a weightloss support group. She's getting ACE certified as a personal trainer and I'm sort of being trained by a doctor of natural health to teach others a 12-week nutrition program. We'll combine my knowledge of nutrition and Michelle's knowledge of training and eating for weight-loss.....and we might have a shot at helping some other women. This is motivating me to be vigilant...because it'll be OUR before and after pictures in the marketing materials.
So this week we're starting with an all veggie cleanse. So far so good. It'll be what I need to break the barriers. My weight has been jumping around between 184 and 187 for weeks now....even though I'm getting leaner from lighting weights. Today I'm at 181 and if I can just drop below 180 and stay there then I think the ball will be rolling on it's own from that point on.
But I'm not going to get stressed. If I still have a little bouncy bouncy celllulite on my wedding day, the world won't come to an end. I can't stress about this... I can only affirm my health and well-being.
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
Miracles and BloodSludge
Well, I asked for it and I got it. Dear God, I said...please, please....take away this pain in my back. And poof: I got a recommendation to see a therapist who waves his magic machine over my ass (lower lumber and sacrum) and Voila! my bone crunching back pain is gone! Gone I say! Gone!
What is this magical machine, you ask? Something wonderful that the Russian space program invented years ago that shoots electrical impulses into your site of pain to reorient your nerves to go in a new path....a lovely path....the yellow brick road back to your spinal column, merrily humming a new tune of freedom and painlessness. I am amazed. Almost 5 days later, and still...no pain. It's a miracle. And what I get I keep. I won't lose this progress... I'll only build on it.
So now I can run....jump, hop....do jarring, liberating, twisting, turning, skipping exercises! Vive La Eryn!
But, alas...yes....a shoe has dropped. The other shoe. And it's the by-product of the miracle. Dr. Painless took this lovely machine and dragged it over my "enteric system" to detox my liver and gallbladder. Oooh, lovely...I love to get detoxed, I thought! But little did I know how sludgy my blood really was. Ohmigosh, by the time I got out to the parking lot from his office my tonsils were swollen with the workload of pulling and processing all the offensiveness out of my circulatory system. And now...yes, 5 days later, I'm still on my back with a pseudo cold, draining from my nose and lethargic from the Herculean job my body is doing with this toxic dump in my blood.
Poor Eryn's body...so dirty inside, and who would have known. But I'm not upset. No, I'm actually rejoicing....because I'll be that much cleaner when this whole thing is done. And I'll take my lovely pain-free back and go skipping off to the gym.
We're still human. Sometimes you gotta take the bad with the good.
What is this magical machine, you ask? Something wonderful that the Russian space program invented years ago that shoots electrical impulses into your site of pain to reorient your nerves to go in a new path....a lovely path....the yellow brick road back to your spinal column, merrily humming a new tune of freedom and painlessness. I am amazed. Almost 5 days later, and still...no pain. It's a miracle. And what I get I keep. I won't lose this progress... I'll only build on it.
So now I can run....jump, hop....do jarring, liberating, twisting, turning, skipping exercises! Vive La Eryn!
But, alas...yes....a shoe has dropped. The other shoe. And it's the by-product of the miracle. Dr. Painless took this lovely machine and dragged it over my "enteric system" to detox my liver and gallbladder. Oooh, lovely...I love to get detoxed, I thought! But little did I know how sludgy my blood really was. Ohmigosh, by the time I got out to the parking lot from his office my tonsils were swollen with the workload of pulling and processing all the offensiveness out of my circulatory system. And now...yes, 5 days later, I'm still on my back with a pseudo cold, draining from my nose and lethargic from the Herculean job my body is doing with this toxic dump in my blood.
Poor Eryn's body...so dirty inside, and who would have known. But I'm not upset. No, I'm actually rejoicing....because I'll be that much cleaner when this whole thing is done. And I'll take my lovely pain-free back and go skipping off to the gym.
We're still human. Sometimes you gotta take the bad with the good.
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
The Birth Canal of the Times
Last night, during the Skype meeting at had with The Red Door team, we talked about how these last couple of years and a few more in front of us are feeling like the birth canal into a new era. God is putting the squeeze on us....the economy sucks, the Earth is pissed off at us, and many of us are out of work. Everything is being reevaluated. I'm excited....it means that we're about to be reborn pretty soon, into a much better world.
But for now, it's still this pressure-filled, highly uncomfortable birth canal. Most days I don't even realize we're here because I'm slipping through with little to no effort. Life is good. I'm really happy these days. But other times I get a reminder of what's going on for the "whole". It seems as though disease and illness, of all kinds, is ramping up in unprecedented ways. Cancer is now as common as a cold. Can you believe that? Cancer is as common as a cold. And my aunt, just in her early 40s, will be going into a doctor's appointment today to find out what sort of MS she has. The whole family is on pins and needles. I'm not really...I'm trusting that this is all happening as it should, for some reason that we can't understand right now. But nevertheless, she's terrified of being told that she'll have a disease that may put her in a wheelchair someday. And my chiropractor told me that even MS is becoming a common diagnosis. Common.
This crazy. Cancer and MS should be rare, not common!
And today I go into the doctor as well. Last year I had high-risk cervical displaysia and LEAP procedure to slice off a little piece of my unhappy cervix. Today I go in for a check-up to see if I've got a clean bill of health or not. I've heard so many stories of my female friends getting cervical cancer at my age that I'm just a little nervous as well. This is starting to become......common.
I'll also have my IUD removed, which is supposed to be a very happy and momentous occasion. It means that Dave and I are getting ready to get preggers. We need about 3 months for my womb to get back to it's normal PH before we try, but it's time now for that little piece of offensive copper to be gone. I've had too many people tell me how bad it was for me to begin with.
So it's a bit of a somber day. I can't muster up the normal enthusiasm I normally have for my BodyProject,which seems a bit self-centered right now. But the facts are good....I'm still dropping weight and this morning I discovered a new line....a long lovely dent down the front of my abdominals that indicates there truly is potential for a 4-pack in there. All those sit-ups are paying off. And I'm almost down a whole size.
Life is good. I'll trust in the old adage that God doesn't give us anything we're not strong enough to handle. My Aunt, who has been like a sister to me.....she'll be fine. No matter what the outcome. And so will I. So will we all.
But for now, it's still this pressure-filled, highly uncomfortable birth canal. Most days I don't even realize we're here because I'm slipping through with little to no effort. Life is good. I'm really happy these days. But other times I get a reminder of what's going on for the "whole". It seems as though disease and illness, of all kinds, is ramping up in unprecedented ways. Cancer is now as common as a cold. Can you believe that? Cancer is as common as a cold. And my aunt, just in her early 40s, will be going into a doctor's appointment today to find out what sort of MS she has. The whole family is on pins and needles. I'm not really...I'm trusting that this is all happening as it should, for some reason that we can't understand right now. But nevertheless, she's terrified of being told that she'll have a disease that may put her in a wheelchair someday. And my chiropractor told me that even MS is becoming a common diagnosis. Common.
This crazy. Cancer and MS should be rare, not common!
And today I go into the doctor as well. Last year I had high-risk cervical displaysia and LEAP procedure to slice off a little piece of my unhappy cervix. Today I go in for a check-up to see if I've got a clean bill of health or not. I've heard so many stories of my female friends getting cervical cancer at my age that I'm just a little nervous as well. This is starting to become......common.
I'll also have my IUD removed, which is supposed to be a very happy and momentous occasion. It means that Dave and I are getting ready to get preggers. We need about 3 months for my womb to get back to it's normal PH before we try, but it's time now for that little piece of offensive copper to be gone. I've had too many people tell me how bad it was for me to begin with.
So it's a bit of a somber day. I can't muster up the normal enthusiasm I normally have for my BodyProject,which seems a bit self-centered right now. But the facts are good....I'm still dropping weight and this morning I discovered a new line....a long lovely dent down the front of my abdominals that indicates there truly is potential for a 4-pack in there. All those sit-ups are paying off. And I'm almost down a whole size.
Life is good. I'll trust in the old adage that God doesn't give us anything we're not strong enough to handle. My Aunt, who has been like a sister to me.....she'll be fine. No matter what the outcome. And so will I. So will we all.
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