She'll be round as the mountains when she comes

Falling off the Wagon

A cold came on hard the week of Christmas and stayed for a bit. Not much fun really. Plus I got a toothache. The kind where Advil, Tylenol, and any pain medication became my friend on an every 4-6 hour basis. I was tired, snotty, and felt like my head was floating above my body. So I did what I do when I don't feel great and there is food everywhere. I ATE and ATE and ATE... Came up for a breath on Christmas day and ran in the cold anyway then... I ate and ate and ate some more.

I got my tooth fixed a week later. My face was numb on the Monday before New Years. btw it was the first time my mouth has seen the inside of a dentist office in a very long long time. Needless to say I was feeling a wee bit sorry for myself. Pain. Dentist. Drilling. Numbness. I didn't want to face up to the reality of jumping of the wagon for the week of Christmas.

So Instead of: talking to someone, writing a blog entry, or screaming at the top of my lungs "STOP THE MADNESS"

I ATE and Ate and ate so more.

Then suddenly I awoke from my stupor. It was January 4th. I felt kinda ill honestly having eaten so much for two weeks and really having eaten foods that don't make me feel good. Especially the kinds of foods I eat in binge size quantities. 'Hello brownie bites, cookies, and trail mix [damn trail mix]'. Awaking from my stupor is normally crippling for me. I seriously beat myself up. (Nadine that dirty b....). Something new happened though. I got in communication.

My fiance had great advice:

1) Stop beating yourself up, feeling guilty, feeling bad etc. you can't change what has already happened

2) Learn from what happened and empower yourself

3) Hello it is the frigging first week of a the New Year. Consider it a new start and get back on wagon.

In the past I would have truly quit. Very likely give up. Gotten resentful. Gotten frustrated. Gotten righteous. Gotten a breakfast burrito smothered in green chile and cheese ; ) and gone numb again.

Instead...

I am reporting my results to you for week twelve and thirteen. I am declaring that I will end 2010 at my goal weight 160 pounds. I will join up for the transformation thingy Eryn is talking about. I just signed up for Weight Watchers online and will do the Fitness launch course by March 1st (I am currently playing the 12 week game but would like to do the launch weekend). Lastly that I will run a half-marathon by the fall of this year. Just cause. What the heck? Say new things (BIG THINGS) and have a new experience. yeehaw!!

Results for Week Twelve and Thirteen

Starting Weight Oct. 5th: 257.2

Last Reported Week 12/21/09 : 249

1/04/10: 249.4

+.4 pounds

T0TAL To Date Loss: 7.8 pounds