Waking up again?? by Sho

Hello from your very absent (for 2 weeks) blogger. I have been dealing with a heap of health issues. Mostly from a diagnosis I received 5 years ago. PCOS - Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome. It causes my body to not ovulate and to have a resistance to insulin. I thought it just meant that I had erratic, typically heavy periods, and an inability to get pregnant. 5 years ago I didn't give much thought to it. I wasn't concerned about getting pregnant.

Then 3 weeks ago I had by far the worst period I have ever had. It was heavy enough that they checked my red blood and iron levels. They thought I might need a blood transfusion. Long story short. I didn't need a transfusion as Zombie like as I felt. They put me on an anti-hormone medicine and recommended sleep and recovery.

I spent the next 14 days recovering. Sleeping. Eating. Working part time. I got frustrated by how tired I felt. I felt helpless. My body wasn't working the way I expect and want it to. On top of that I was on a pill. It made me REALLY REALLY hungry.

So I just stopped. Stopped what you ask? Well I stopped paying attention. Didn't work out. Slept a lot and begun to feel sorry for myself. It turned into a 3 week hiatus, which if you look back, I took a 2 week one during the holidays. All in all in the last 6 weeks, I had 5 weeks of unconsciousness. Sweet.

So as always I can beat myself up some more or... Just start again. I choose wake up.

WAKE UP

I realized something this morning. When I have failure, I don't question my playing of the game instead I question the game. Everyone and their brother gives me their advice and I get overwhelmed by the options. It would be like if every time Tiger missed the hole, he switched his swing. Like completely changed his philosophy of his game every time there was one failure. What I am realizing is that it isn't a question of the game but how fully I am play it. I know what works and what there is to work on.

Now feeling better what works is to work out. So starting tomorrow I will be back to my 5 days a week goal. I like sticking to it and it feels good.

Food oh food. I am out to master eating healthy. Giving my body the optimal fuel to reach my goal fitness, weight, and health. MY BODY. Not anyone else's. Mine. For me right now for the next 5-6 months, I will be following weight watchers. Tracking points and tracking every bit of food I eat. It means getting support to be honest and talking about what I am dealing with around food. 2010 is my year of mastery around food. Like a Kung Fu master of Weight Watchers. A friend of mine has lost 100 pounds on weight watchers cause she follows it to the letter. My Turn.

Thanks for reading....